Autism and Behavioural issues in kids

The most common doubt every parent has in today’s generation regarding their children is autism and behavioral disorders. Autism can be diagnosed at any age. In the olden days, people didn’t have much knowledge about this and hence they never knew that they had autism. They all are raising their voice now since everyone today knows about it. Parents today are especially concerned and they are looking for any signs or symptoms in their kids right from the time they were born. They look at it like a very big disease or a non-curable disorder. Yes, it is genetic and cannot be cured completely but we can reduce the symptoms or help and support the person just the way he is to live a happy life. You will be shocked to know that all autistic children and adults have more powerful minds than normal people. Some have a great memory, some have a good sense of taste, some have great taste buds, some have very good eyesight, and some have a very good hearing sense. They can hear even a small noise like the falling of a needle. So, the next time you see an autistic person, remember that they are more powerful than others.  They just need some support and help to find out their positive side.

Every parent thinks that their baby has autism at some point or another when their kids are below the age of 5 years. We were also in the same situation when our elder son was 2 to 3 years old. But when we start observing our kids very closely and start spending more time with them, we will understand whether they really have autism or just behavioral disorders. Autism is more dangerous than behavioral disorders because autism comes from genetics and behavioral disorders can be improved over time by teaching your child about good and bad behavior. As a parent, you have to be very clear about all these things to help your child recover from autism and behavioral disorders at home easily if they are mild. Severe cases should be treated at autism centers and by coaching classes.

When my son was 2 years old we also thought that our son had autism as he had some repetitive behavior like running in circular directions, alining his toys in a straight line, not communicating, playing by himself, and doesn’t look into our eyes or listen to us when we call him by his name. I think we were wrong about him at that time because autistic children behave very differently and my son only had some behavioural issues. But I didn’t join him in any autism centers or take him to doctors. I knew my son’s potential and started treating him at home without listening to others who told me that my son was autistic and needed to be treated. Me and my husband worked very hard day and night to make him normal just like other kids. It was not an easy journey and it took so much time. I will tell you the whole story at the end of this article.

What is Autism?

It is a neurodevelopment disorder and it occurs by birth. No one develops autism after they are born. And it doesn’t occur because of bad parenting. Many elders blame mothers for this cause. But they have to understand that this is a genetic defect. You will start noticing autism symptoms only when your kid turns 2 years old. As kids of that age start doing many activities like playing, running, talking, eating on their own, playing with other children, etc. There is good news that autism can be treated or it can become from severe to mild after proper care and attention. Caregivers have to be very patient and supportive while handling autistic children.

Symptoms of autism:-

• Repetitive behavior is when your child repeats the words, sentences, and actions all the time.
• He plays independently and does not allow anyone to enter his play zone.
• He keeps looking up toward the ceilings, fans, lights, or the sky most of the time or completely looks down on the floor.
• He runs in round directions or from one corner to another without bothering anyone.
• He loves loneliness.
• He is hyperactive most of the time.
• He cries a lot for no reason or becomes aggressive suddenly.
• He may do confusing actions like shaking his hands, banging his head on the wall, hurting others, biting, self-harming, eating other objects, throwing things, and running away in the house or outside.
• He will not communicate with you or others. But he will talk by himself.
• When you call him by his name he will not at all look at you or answer you back.
• He will not look into your eyes when you talk even when you sit right before him.
• He will continuously nod his head or move his head in round directions.
• When he is excited, he jumps, moves his hands continuously, or screams.
• When strangers come to your home, he will hide behind you or will not go into the room where people are sitting.
• When you take him to the park, he will not play with slides or children. He will just stand beside you or get bored and cry telling you to take him back home.
• He creates his own world with a few toys, his favorite things, and his favorite place.
• He doesn’t understand simple sentences like go, bring, take, catch, kick, etc.
• He takes so much time to understand a single sentence.
• He becomes uncomfortable when there is a slight loud noise or a bright light.
• He doesn’t like to go out much or enjoy outside. He likes being at home and all alone.

You might get confused with all these autistic symptoms as many of these symptoms are very normal in normal healthy babies too. Many babies are shy and don’t like to talk or play with strangers. Many kids avoid communication with others or with their parents as they love playing or making themselves busy with toys, paintings, books, etc. Some children don’t listen to you when you talk because they are very busy with the new toy, or book they got recently. Some kids don’t understand what you are saying and they want you to repeat it again and again to understand clearly. Some kids are slow learners and some are fast learners. Some reach their milestones very early and some reach slowly. This depends on each baby’s growth. This doesn’t mean that all healthy and smart kids have the best parents in the world and those babies who are a little slow learners have bad parents or the parenting method is bad. Every parent tries to give the best to their children. So if your kid is not as smart as other kids it’s not at all your fault or you are not taking care of your kid properly. Kids are born like that. And kids like to learn everything on their own by watching you, others, their surroundings, and their inspiration. The best thing that you can do to make your kid a good human being is to be disciplined and well-mannered in front of them.

Always Remember ‘PARENTS ARE THE FIRST TEACHERS OF EVERY CHILD’.

Treatment:-

If your child has mild autism, you can treat him at home by spending more quality time with him. Both parents should contribute equally for the best results. You have to observe every step of your child and analyze how it’s different from normal behavior. Then work on it and help your child learn new behaviors and be with him in everything thing that he does from day to night like eating, playing, sleeping, going for a walk, reading, writing, drawing, painting, and talking to others.

Play with your baby when he is [playing alone. Don’t let him play on his own. Bring new interesting toys and make him understand how it works and play with him. He will enjoy your company or when you give him your precious time. When he is eating, talk to him about food, different colors, flavors, health, and what food does to the body. When he is scribbling on the book, draw along with him some interesting cartoons and encourage him to draw or tell what it is. All these simple things make a lot of difference for your kid.

If your child has severe autism, you will need a doctor’s help to make him normal again or reduce the autism symptoms so that he can lead a normal life like others. In autism centers, there are different types of doctors available to help your child with autism. There are normal pediatricians, speech therapists, Psychologists, and caretakers. They spend 2 to 3 hours on a single child and encourage them to do many things like eating on their own, playing with different toys, touching different types of textures, trying to feed on their own, playing different indoor games, and talking little things. They also give you some immunity drops, iron drops, and vitamin drops for fast recovery and to boost the kid’s performance because autistic children may also have some iron and vitamin deficiencies in their bodies. You can all do this at home but if both the parents are working, it might not be possible for them and they take the help of professional autism centers and clinics. These centers are costly too.

My Experience:-

When my kid was 2 years old, we suspected him of autism and behavior issues. Since he was the first child in our whole family, we didn’t even have other family members or relative’s support to know more about child behavior, autism symptoms, and parenting methods for this generation of kids. Because today’s kids are very different from the time when we were kids. Maybe it’s because of environmental changes, screen time, nuclear families, or changes in food intake, that kids nowadays are more sensitive, more aggressive, more sharp, and like to be in their own creative world. My kid was also the same. He was smart, healthy, reached all his milestones on time, loved eating healthy food, and ate snacks once in a while, he had a smiling face all the time, he played with everyone, he enjoyed his time with his father, grandparents, and other kids outside, and he even started talking a few words like mumma, baba, hi, bye, water, and food. Slowly after his second birthday, we started noticing some changes in him. The changes that we saw in him were:-

• When my child played with blocks and puzzles he didn’t listen to us when we called him by his name. Because he loved those games and didn’t want anyone to disturb him. He turned to us only when we called him more than 3 times.
• He talked by himself. We didn’t understand the language that he talked but he was always saying something continuously while playing.
• He played on his own most of the time but when I joined in he used to enjoy it more.
• He listened to me when I called. But when his dad or others called him, he didn’t care.
• Slowly he even started avoiding his dad and other people around him.
• When his dad came from the office, he didn’t go to him. He looked at him as a stranger.
• He used to run behind me wherever I go.
• He used to lie down and play with his cars.
• He used to align all his toys or other things in a straight row.
• He used to run in circular directions once or twice a day.
• He was always looking down or looking at his things.
• He didn’t like to look up or make eye contact.
• He used to say a few words before but now stopped saying even a single word.
• Before he used to smile a lot but now his face was always in tension and worried.
• He used to go to his dad’s room only when I was with him.
• He never made eye contact with my husband or others for so many days.
• When his dad tried to talk to him, he didn’t answer or respond in any way.
• He was just a mama’s boy. When I asked something he answered.
• He made eye contact with me. He used to play very happily with me all day.
• When I talked to him continuously, he used to listen a bit.
• He always comes to me with toys, new things, or to play.
• Since we lived in a nuclear family, there were only 2 of us the whole day till his father came at night. He used to get bored, so I took him to nearby parks, shops, or just for a walk. He loved to go out. But after a few days, he didn’t enjoy going outside. He was quiet and just looking at people and things outside. Maybe because we were going to the same places again and again. He was excited when I bought him some candies and cakes.

By this behavior, I understood that he is not autistic and only has a few behavior disorders. I observed him very closely and only a mother can accurately tell their child’s behavior, health, and interests because autistic children don’t respond to anyone, not even to their mother, father, or siblings. They make their world and live in it all day long. They don’t like to go outside or talk to other people. They love their room and toys only just like the symptom that I mentioned above for autistic kids. My husband was very broken after his kid didn’t come to him or listen to him. He tried to talk patiently and politely with the kid, but he didn’t listen. My husband tried to take him outside and spend some quality time with him so that he loves him again but my son cried a lot and vomited when he used to take him outside. But still, he took him outside, bought candies, played with him in the park, and bought new toys for him. We both started giving him more time so that he would become normal like before. We never left him alone. From morning to evening, I talked to him, played with him, told stories, made him cook food, and watched cartoons with him. At night when his dad came, he took him outside to buy vegetables, fruits, groceries, snacks, and to park also. After putting in a lot of effort, it took 6 months to 9 months for my kid to become normal again like other kids. Now he is 5 years old and still doesn’t speak English or Hindi fluently. But he tries a lot and talks slowly but very clearly. He enjoyed going to parks and playing with other kids. He even tried to talk to them but nowadays no one cares about you when you try to talk to them or maybe they were also just small kids and don’t know how to behave.

After my son’s experience, I heard many other parents speak up about their child’s autism issues in my family. Some parents went to therapists and autism centers to cure their child and some sent their children to schools and places with more people or where joint families live so that they learn by watching others. However, according to me, autistic children don’t learn by watching others. We have to teach them each and everything personally with so much patience. The more time you spend with them, the faster they will learn. And always remember that children learn only when they are appreciated, loved, comforted, and rewarded.  Forceful learning can make bad memories in them and they won’t like to learn it again.