Angry Mom

Taking care of kids and infants is of course the most difficult job in the world. Handling everything alone is just as same as living in depression every day. Parenting alone is the most difficult job as you have to sacrifice many of your things for your baby. Including your time, self-care, career, and family relations. Though children are a gift of God, it is not at all easy to take care of them perfectly. As parents, we also make so many mistakes and get angry very easily. But to a certain extent, we can control our emotions. There are many techniques to do it.

In this article, I will tell you how to control your anger on kids and lead a happy life with them.

What causes anger after delivering your baby?

During pregnancy, you go through many hormonal changes in your body to nourish your baby. And we all know that hormones are responsible for our mood swings. A slight change in hormones can create a very big impact on your body and mind. During pregnancy, there is a high increase in some essential hormones called progesterone and estrogen that are responsible for mood swings.

After delivery, many of your pregnancy hormones come down including progesterone and estrogen. And your body is trying to get back to its normal hormonal level. This causes irritation, tension, and mood swings. We call it postpartum depression too. We all need help from others at this time or else we will become lonely and depressed all the time. Sometimes people become lonely even when they have many people around them. That is why we need to prepare our mind and body to fight for anything all alone.

How to control anger?

Since you have delivered a baby now into the world and suddenly everything becomes new to you, You have to take care of the baby, yourself, your family, and your elder children. When you are stressed, it is very normal to get angry with people around you. Your baby cries, changing diapers, frequent feeding, and getting tensed about their health all the time will make you a little depressed. This happens with every new mommy. But if you have the support of your partner or family, it will help you a lot to relax for a while. But nowadays everyone is busy with their own work and mostly we have to handle everything alone. And this is of course a good thing because the more you spend time with your baby, the more you will gain knowledge about everything. You will know what your baby needs at what time and you can understand him better to avoid frequent cries and irritability and take care of him properly.

But still, if you get angry with your toddler or baby, just look down at the floor without looking at your child and go away from that room. Don’t yell or slap your baby. This will make the matter worse. Yelling can make you more stressed and a bad person in your baby’s eyes. It is better to control your emotions at this time. Sometimes our emotions get out of control and we suddenly slap our baby or yell at him. If that happens, hug your baby tightly, say sorry, and kiss him on his cheek or forehead. This will stop his cry in a minute. And slowly tell him what he is doing is wrong and explain to him how to do it.

The second thing that you can do whenever you get angry with your toddler is to go away from that room sit in a quiet place and close your eyes for a minute. All your frustration will go away slowly. After that, call your toddler and tell him what’s right.

It’s not bad to yell or get angry at your baby when he does the wrong things. It happens sometimes because we are also humans and we cannot control our emotions for a long time. So please don’t feel bad about yourself. I have seen many women who slap their kids and later go to another room and cry by themselves feeling sad about their kids that they hit them or scolded them.

Parenting is not easy. It makes your world up and down. If you’re parenting alone then you have to be ready to face all types of tough situations with your baby, partner, and family. Because when we are stressed we will not be able to give time to our partners and family too. We will not be able to take care of ourselves too. Our hair is always messy, our clothes are dirty, and there is always so much sweat due to heavy work, sudden weight loss, and mood swings. We crave for me time. Just to sit in a park or in our balcony quietly with a cup of coffee or tea.

There are times when we sit all alone and cry by ourselves. This is due to stress and postpartum depression. At this time you should have a hobby that can make you happy for a moment. Many depend on yummy food to let go of their stress. Others find peace in art, their job, going out for a walk, park, swimming, sports, snack time, or going to their parent’s home. I found happiness in eating junk food and snacks. But this was a very bad idea as junk food causes weight gain. Once you gain weight, this becomes another stress for you to lose weight and also take care of your family alone. So later, I shifted to blogging. Whenever I felt stressed, I  wrote articles on my blog. Since I love writing from my childhood, this made my stress levels become low.

It is very normal for new mother’s to feel dependent, invaluable, and underconfident till their kids start going to school. As we cannot concentrate on our careers or live life the way we want, we become stressed so much. Our kids are so much dependent on us for each and everything. It is our responsibility too as parents to make them comfortable and help them grow in a healthy way. Once they learn so many things like eating by themselves, bathing, talking, potty trained, and understanding almost all the sentences you can sit back and relax or you can start focusing more on your career.

I have seen many moms who start working after their maternity leave or after one year of delivering their baby. They hand over the babies to their grandparents, maids, or daycare and go to work. This is also a good option but mothers like me who want to explore each and every milestone of their babies right in front of their eyes cannot go out for work leaving kids behind. I like to see them grow, smile, laugh, say their first word, walk their first steps, and eat their first spoon of food right before my eyes. If you still want to be financially independent at this phase too, you can do work from home. If you can balance your work and household you will be happy and proud of yourself that you are financially independent and also taking care of your kids and family at the same time.

Symptoms of Postpartum Depression after delivery:-

• Feeling irritated almost all the time.
• Crying without any reason.
• Complaining about the baby and family members.
• Screaming at your partner or family members for little things.
• Feeling lonely.
• Thinking that no one can understand you.
• In extreme cases, hurting or beating the baby when he cries or irritated you.
• Felling more dependent on others.

That’s why partners and family members need to be with the new mother and the baby after delivery at least for one to 3 months to support them in every way possible. Sometimes if there are many people around you, there are many chances that you will be more stressed. Because people can support you and also demotivate or insult you. Mainly elders insult you a lot. Because they think they know everything and whatever they do is correct. And since we are younger than them and less experience than them, we don’t know anything. But you have to remember that elders are always not right. They are also humans and they can also make mistakes.

At last, I would like to conclude my article by saying that you have to control your mind and your body. No one is going to support you for long. You have to be strong, brave, patient and work hard for your goals and dreams. You have the power to control your feelings and emotions. Don’t let anyone judge you and tell you to be different. You are unique the way you are and you are of course the best parent. Don’t be too much dependent on your baby’s emotions. They are small and they don’t know anything. So sometimes letting go of some of your baby cries won’t hurt you and your baby at all.

Being kind, and polite, sitting and solving problems, building up the communication gap between you and your baby, handling things smoothly, becoming a friend of your kid, understanding his emotions, respecting him, and giving value to his knowledge and intelligence is the only way to build a good relationship with your children. The same applies to your parents and family members too. Sit and talk to them about your mental stress and depression. They will understand and help you.